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When you should dump him: Know the signs

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

Olivia was starving for love, like everyone on this earth, a lasting love. Contrary, the only kind of love she bumped into was “sickly.” Numerous relationships, endless promises, all fragile. While some wanted her for physical pleasure, some hung around for her money. There was barely any guy who committed her a lasting love, a future.

She wanted an oak-solid relationship, one that lasts until the appearance of her freckles and wrinkles. But every time she’s in a new relationship, she walks a few excess miles that she regrets later, every time. She does not know when to take the pause to evaluate the right and the wrong when to dump him when to step back and say “No.”

Holding tight to a toxic relationship

Olivia never had a good dating experience. Probably because she turned cynical after her “many” breakups. She was in her late 30s. A phase that is dicey- to choose the one who loves you or to choose the one whom you love. An age where every experiential relationship burns to ashes and firm bonding sees light.

But love or compassion stayed poles apart from her. For years she’d bad choices. She was tortured, assaulted, attacked, smashed, torn apart, yet she sat tight with her abusers. She believed that the bunch of nice, normal, successful, chivalrous guys coming out of the woodwork lost their way to her.

When you should dump him?

While most men that she encountered did not promise her commitment, there was this one man who wanted to be with her forever, but without marriage. Some sweet-confusing knot? Absolutely not!

He seems to be the front runner. He’s cute, responsible, exciting, but not the future that she can fantasize. So, should she dump him and hunt for a new man?

  • Being monogamous: Yes? No?

    There’s no point in being monogamous to a guy who is not monogamous. If the man you love wants to step it up and act like a boyfriend, the opportunity is there. But if his commitments are too frail, know that you’re not going to narrate “happily ever after” stories to your grandchildren.

  • A good man but a bad boyfriend:

    When a good man breaks up with you, you question yourself. Past flashbacks of happy times with him haunt You almost put yourself in the circle of distress, agony, and hate. Because he was smart, cute, kind, and a good man for everyone, you repudiate seeing him as a bad boyfriend. But did he treat you well? If your answer has few wobbly points, consider looking out for a better partner.

  • Know when to dump:

    The right man will claim you as his girlfriend. You don’t need to nudge him every hour. You don’t need to text him to have a conversation “about us”. You don’t need to be insecure about him. After months of dating if he still has not increased his efforts to get to know you or has not even come close to claim you as his girlfriend, then do the right thing – Dump. His. Ass.

Knowing when to dump a guy is crucial as it can literally save you years of wasted time on the wrong men. Have you ever thought about how much time you have spent on guys that you knew were NOT going to become your partners for life?

Never again.

10 secrets to lure a man

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

 

impress a manMen will never entirely act the way you want them to because they are men. They may seem easy going, running after you, and even desperately wanting you. But they are not easy to understand. If women are considered complicated, men are the superlatives of it. Unlike women, men don’t open up their thoughts. They like preserving their emotions.

A woman may possess all the attributes of a “perfect life partner,” an amazing catch for any man, but when it comes to getting a picture of her man, she will, at some point, fail to discern his needs and wants.

Check out the mysterious facts and pick the most to impress your favorite man, whether online or offline.

1. Let him speak:

Men are good pretenders. They will never displease you if you ask them how you looked at his friend’s party or decide your favorite holiday destination instead of his’. Understand his mediocrity. Do not ask. Let him speak. Men don’t like clingy women. Inhale confidence, let him compliment you.

 

man complimenting woman

 

2. Enhance your profile:

I read somewhere that “Men don’t read profiles. They just check photos.” Men do read profiles and it’s not just about photographs. Intensify your skills. Because a profile consisting an enormous number of adjectives, hobbies, or self-praises barely attract an alpha man. On the other hand, an aesthetic profile with core adjectives, specifics, with the presence of humor will attract more quality men than the ones judging with photos.

 

woman's profile

 

3. Accept his flaws:

Do not be a complain box. He may love you as a woman but your lack of accepting his flaws and poking for every lock stock and barrel, nevertheless, will shun him off from you eventually.

 

woman complaining man
Source: Sheknow

 

4. Respect his needs:

Men love smart, strong, and successful women. They also want their needs to matter as well. Love isn’t a one-way street. Both the parties have to anticipate each other’s emotions. Men too want someone to take care of them, understand their needs, feed their egos, and complement their masculinity.

 

 

Source: ienglish

 

5. Peep up your brain:

Man gravitates towards confidence, self-awareness, intelligence, sex appeal, kindness, and specificity.  A woman’s beauty can be a variegated affair when teamed with a skillfully crafted brain. Instead of a girl with disguised attributes, a woman possessing these traits will win more hearts.

 

woman thinking
Source: Simplemost

 

6. Beauty rules the world:

Beauty provokes a different kind of radiance. Well, that doesn’t mean you have to own a very fair skin or be drop dead gorgeous. He doesn’t often judge beauty by the parameter of your skin color or the length of your skirt. Inner brightness attracts. But no, you do not look good with your obese stomach. Chubby is cute but being obese is unattractive and ugly. Ditch your daily dose of fast foods and groom yourself with a healthy diet and proper exercises.

 

fat Woman-eating-junk-food
Source: Fossils remedy

 

7. Build your personality:

You may be amused to know that men do look for certain traits in a woman, from physical appearance to inner aspects. They do notice your chapped fingernails, your worn-out shoes during a They do notice your mismatched color and choice of dress. In fact, they notice everything. Be careful while picking your choice (only if you want to impress him) and never forget to wear a good fragrance. Remember, men are attracted to good smells.

 

man checking a woman

 

8. Gulp some classiness and culture:

Men love classy and cultured women. While they may hang out with myriad numbers, they will take home only the finely stuffed ones. A half-nude dress may not excite him but a well- cultured lady with her behavior definitely will steal his heart.

 

classy woman
Source: Anne cohen

 

9. Tame your emotions:

Hate, revenge, reprisals, jealousy, envy, and selfishness often pushes a person down into the drain of degradation. Cultivate positivism. Be a lady of wits and wisdom than hatching evil plots to win them. Men love humorous women.

 

jealous woman
Source: Girls Gone Strong

 

10. Two to tango:

The two things man care about are- Are you sexy? Are you fun to be around? While women have a catalog of wants and needs about her dream man, men ask for two things. If they really want to sleep with you, or if they feel good about themselves when they are around you.

 

man thinking
Source: Pixels

Men do value intelligence and beauty but they also crave for certain things which they can’t get from their business associates- warmth, affection, and thoughtfulness. So, you know what to do next!

 

Massive mistakes people commit in a relationship

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

“A true relationship happens between two imperfect people who refuse to give up on the other.” But oftentimes, the two imperfect persons hold their partners’ imperfections with such high regard that they silt their relationship with ego, arguments, and misunderstandings. Healthy relationships are the ones where both the partners walk on parallel tracks, build healthy communication mediums, and importantly, listen to each other’s needs and nags.

Relationships are fragile subsistence that tend to breathe only when it is nurtured by both the partners. They seldom exist with one-way support. Below are some of the frivolous edges that people trespasses and in turn, deteriorate the beautiful bond:

1. Deteriorating the communication flow:

Lacking communication
Source: Pinterest

Most healthy bondings fail due of dearth of communication between couples, furthermore, exacerbating the string. Lack of which will pave new ways for doubts and misunderstandings.

2. Augmenting insecurities and doubts:

Angry couple
Source: Alldaychic

If you love them, trust them. If you feel that your partner is not worthy of your trust, let him/her go. Get rid of your obsession over them. But if your partner fits your shoe perfectly, STOP creating miseries with your foolish doubts. Because, A relationship that is built with doubts will fall apart, sooner or later.

3. Polishing flirting skills:

Man whistling while with girlfriend
Source: Shutterstock

No, don’t fuel your flirting skills with another man/woman. Those few minutes of your Tinder joy can devastate your partner’s dream of building a home with you.

4. Feeding wrath:

angry chennai express
Source: Magnamags

Because when there is anger, there is always pain underneath. An angry mind can never grasp things, instead, will dissipate the half-mold discussion. Hence holding the discourse to a peaceful state can yield positive outcomes.

5. Pricing possessiveness:

jealous woman better research
Source: Picquotes

Where there is love, there is possessiveness. Sometimes less, at times, more. Possessiveness is like a taste-maker. Too much can spoil the whole dish. However, understanding the pulled line in between can help in retaining the charms of a relationship.

Share and chill until we come up with our next post.

Speak your thoughts in the section below.

How to keep the flame of love glowing?

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

Getting seriously involved with the opposite sex calls for a bundle of maturity and patience. After spending your days hauling with office drudgery, your evenings fly, wondering about how much exhausted you are even to reach for a good night kiss. Though the erstwhile stage was pretty occupied with excitement, subsequently it starts to turn pale and keeping the flame alive becomes a demanding job for both the partners, gradually.

Love often fails because men want space and women want to understand. Millions of couples join every day in love, whereas million others cries a painful separation. They feel frustration and everyday irritations had doused the spark between them. There are very few people who are able to grow in love.

Let’s grab some quick tips on how to keep that flame glowing:

1) The beauty of loyalty: Trust is the foundation of a relationship. Most relationships fail due to jolt in the foundation. Loyalty garnishes a relationship. Nothing is sexier than a man or woman dedicated to their partners.

2) Love with Friendship: To be great lovers, you need to be great friends first. Men are from Mars, while women are from Venus and surviving with the opposite sex means dealing with things that mean something or sometimes nothing. When you are true friends, instead of trying to have control or change them, you acknowledge and respect their views. You have a shared history of your past life with them which will act as an immune to your relationship in future as your better half have a better understanding of your tastes, preferences, likes, and dislikes.

3) Confess your past: At some point, everyone tends to walk out of their threshold. There are days when you may be attracted to your best friend or to your partner’s cousin. Curiosity can be a bitch at times. You know you are engaged to your partner, still, your curiosity would ignite you to flirt with the new girl in your neighborhood. However, as they say, “Better late than never.” Confessing your flings and faults can actually help retain the lost faith of your partner.

4) Being secure: A peculiar kind of inferiority that can ruin a blooming relationship is insecurity. If you are insecure, own it and fix it. The more fearful you are around your partner, the less attracted they are to you and the relationship is likely to stand on the verge of dying.

5) Blurt it out: When piled up frustration sweeps way to depression and baseless rumination, dissociation wins its race. You want him to take you shopping. Instead of saying it directly, you tend to encircle it with “my best friend’s boyfriend always surprises her with expensive shopping and lavish outings” will not work. Remember, for a man, their formula is “Don’t fix it unless it is broken”.

6) Ignite your sex life: Nobody likes to eat dal and rice every day. Everyone wishes for biryani at times. Nurturing that flame would require volumes of warmth along with a few doses of fresh fragrance to it. Quick tip: Get rid of vanilla sex and explore the other new varieties.

7) Anger and Arguments: It is common for two people who are madly in love with hating each other the very next day. Wrath can literally stretch to violent arguments and abuses which in turn can extinguish the flame of a relationship in no time.

8) Wrap with Compromise: All the huge disputes of the world can be settled with a compromise. Count ego as the greatest enemy and make compromise your priority.

Author’s Take: Rather than engaging in stupid fights, celebrate love and togetherness. Take her for shopping or cook his favorite meal. At the end of the day, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and to a girl is through shopping.

What men want from women?

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

If women are considered the complicated creatures, men can also be taken as the most clueless beings on earth. Women know what they want, well EVERYTHING! And yes, even men want and need almost everything that a woman does. You must have kissed dozens of toads to finally reach your prince charming but still the dilemma of whether he is really happy being with you, poke you quite often. Believe it or not, both men and women equally struggle to figure out what the other wants. But don’t you want to know what exactly men want?

Casual dating is effortless but carrying a relationship to a deeper level, requires a great deal of patience. However, in case of men, the itsy-bitsy tantrums are more complex. Getting a grasp of their desires are not only challenging but also tricky, as they stick to their personality of “not letting go of emotions.”

Highlighted below are some of the affairs that men look forward from their women and for women, hope these ingredients will help in making your desired recipe delectable:

1) All they want is love, attention, care, affection, intimacy, desire: And sex. Yes, sex would always rank first on their wish list. A man who doesn’t want sex is like a unicorn; that doesn’t exist. Whatsoever, this doesn’t mean that a woman has to jump onto bed on first date just to impress him; but at times, he may want her to take the first move.

http://www.relatably.com/

2) Nurture your awesomeness: Men do look for certain traits and characteristics in a woman apart from warmth and coziness. Men want women who look great. But that doesn’t mean one have to be drop-dead gorgeous. Confidence is sexy. A great personality along with a speck of confidence would surely steal the show.

https://www.shutterstock.com/

3) “I love a clingy woman,” said no man ever: Calling or texting your bae for every minuscule matter does not sound romantic, rather may build a pile of disgust that may backfire a relationship.

4) Give him his space: A common trait that is often observed in most women is that once they change their relationship status, they start hopping to the mommy’s status as well. “Don’t go out late night, don’t hang out with your friends,” can, on the contrary, devastate the bond. It is necessary to give him his space. Insecurities can deteriorate a healthy bond. Keep calm and grab your bucket of chicken because a real man knows how to carry his relationship.

5) Pamper your sweetheart: When he can go extra miles to drop you in office, doesn’t deny to carry all your shopping bags, skips his favorite match to be with you, don’t you think it is your moral duty to pamper that kind being with care and cuddliness?

http://www.pinterest.com

6) Be his buddy: Men loves flaunting his woman, just like his favorite gadgets and machinery. Besides being smart and witty, men love women who listen to him, laugh with him, and above all, holds him when he stumbles.

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/

7) Compliment him: Over time, people tend to take their partners for granted. While the initial dating days are filled with cheesy, lovely compliments and talks, the later days are doubtlessly thronged with boredom and complaints. Often seen in most relationships, the partners often complain about the significant other’s poor dressing sense, casual attitude toward their relationship, lack of spark, boredom, and so on. Worry not, a stitch in time saves nine. It doesn’t require much effort to chirk up your better half. The solution constantly revolves around mutual admiration. Admiring his new hairdo, appreciating his new dress, or encouraging each other’s achievements, are great ways to ease the jitters prevailing in a relationship.

http://www.weheartit.com

Just like the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the way to rule his mind along, lies in a woman’s emotional efflorescence. Men too want what women want; love, care, affection, attention, liberty, space, and so forth. It would extremely be cruel to take your guy for granted, especially when he had walked extra miles to drop you home safely, paid your bills, picked your shopping bags, or took you to your favorite restaurant. Why not admire him, cuddle him, praise him, surprise him, and make him feel special instead?

Did I miss anything? Let’s know in the comment section below.

Featured image: http://losangeles.kabbalah.com/

Benefits of dating a writer

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

Dating a writer can be tough as well as an amazing journey one can travel through. These moody, stubborn, serious, sulky and exasperated creatures are not at all easy to handle. But once you enter their trusted zone, they will take great care of you, just like their grammatical errors.

Writers are the smart, intelligent, witty, and creative specimen of the human race you would love to hang around with. Coffee is their best friend while creativity keeps them awake. They are mostly shy, introvert, and short tempered but once you learn how to reach their comfort zone, they will sketch joy and vitality in your life. This intense category of species would make you scream in joy as they make love to you with their words.

Explore the aisle below and know the benefits you can avail from your better half:

Experience and Experiment: They are always in search of new things and their life is filled with series of adventure and experiments. A story created with events that have happened or experienced brings liveliness to it. Don’t be surprised if your writer behaves weird at times or do things that are awkward. Those might be the things they want to witness before capturing in their writings.

Changing moods: Once you date a writer, you will learn the true usage of every single emojis of your keyboard. Your writer love is always buried deep with new ideas and thoughts and thus you tend to be extra careful while using your movement and tone. Your slightest distraction can result in a violent war.

Romance through vocabulary: If you want to romance, romance with a writer. They can explore depths of you and make you swim in a sea of fascination. You might not even realize how deeply you have drowned in their words. They will trap every emotion of you in their writings.

No demands, no complaints: They hate dominating bosses and bitchy colleagues. And that is why they choose writing over a 10 am to 6 pm job. They love being independent and won’t pester you to take them for parties. They won’t demand or complain even if you don’t buy them expensive gifts.

Coated with ideas: They are layered with creativity, imagination, and artistry. Whether a party decor or a story outline, never hesitate to ask them anything. They can enlighten you with the best-experienced ideas and opinions. Each of their creations requires a lot of research- digging out the best shopping sites to matching footwear, restaurants, music, etc. So in case you tremble with your choice, ask for their recommendation!

Patience is sweet: Sometimes it takes days to get their desired plot and twist for the tale. They know that the fruit of patience is always sweet. They won’t fume with rage if you reach late on a date someday.

Great observers: Writers are great observers. They notice minute details of you just like the grammatical errors. From your deep dark snipers to bulged out belly, they will paint every strand of you in their mind.

Romance runs in their veins: They are mostly dreamers and fantasizing is their favorite hobby. The romantic message that you texted last night would be transformed into a poem with amalgamated feelings and volumized vocabulary attached to it in the next morning. They will preserve every speck of you in their writings.

At your service: They are good listeners. Whether your terribly poor jokes or sad tales, they carry boatloads of patience to stand every story and provide their expert opinions. In fact, they will take interest in everything you say and are always at your service, even when you lag behind with your assignment’s deadline.

You are the hero: And lastly, be prepared to see yourself as a lead character in their next story, because writers fall in love with people they find a serene bonding with.

Dating a writer means you will learn a lot of cool new words. You will receive grammatical error free text on your phone. You will get the best of Valentine or anniversary dedicated messages. You do not need to rush to the shelf to get that heavy oxford dictionary. They are at your service for all your vocabulary problems.

While your friends talk about their dummy partners’ activities, you can delightedly stand as a proud boyfriend/ girlfriend alongside your writer love. Let us know your experiences in the comment section below.

The Kinky Controversy

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

Whether it is Cold Lunch, Golden Shower, or going gross with the Alabama Hot Pocket, there are a number of wacky kinky moves that would instigate one to engage in a steamy and bed-rattling lovemaking session. And at the same time, disgust one to even think of these sizzling strategies to reach a peak.

Living in a multi-cultural society, however, there are different ways of expressing one’s sexuality and interests. Keeping aside vanilla sex, some may call these unusual practices as perverted acts, while others may consider these as mental disorders. As the saying goes, “There is pleasure in pain,” BDSM is one such kinky practices that involves intense torment and distress. Camouflaged by taboo, social rejection and animosity, the term apparently came to spotlight after the successful launch of E.L. James’ bestseller “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

From a historical viewpoint

While a number of bizarre sexual practices and acts have been carried out in different societies and cultures or sub-cultures, certain sexual engagements and acts have been observed as paraphilia or aberrant. Paraphilia, which is described by sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors, involve protracted, extreme and harsh sexual engagements that may last for more than six months, causing significant trouble and torment to their counterparts. Some of the sexual behaviors that are standing tall in the list of paraphilia or deviant behavior and acts include- homosexuality, exhibitionism, voyeurism, fetishism, necrophilia, transvestism, zoophilia, zoosadism, sadomasochism, pedophilia, and a host of such peculiar behaviors.

Teaming the terms “Bondage with Discipline”, “Dominance with Submission” and “Sadism with Masochism,” BDSM practices were found to have been in existence for thousands of years. The “kinky sex” to “edge play” practices of BDSM was however not on the move, until in 1886 when the terms “sadism” and “masochism” were introduced.

The symbolic painting from the 490 B.C. called The Tomb of Flogging (Tomba della Fustigazione) at Etruscan tomb near Tarquinia, Italy, and the mention of different types of hitting practices in the erotic literature of Kamasutra, executed to enhance pleasure, explains the prevalence of the sadomasochistic practice in those times. Moreover, the existence of sadomasochistic exercises in the 9th century B.C. has illustrated the presence of kinky practices in ancient Sparta.

Why do such deviations emerge?

Typically, there are numerous opinions, beliefs, and suspicions prevailing in the society about the mental status of BDSM practitioners. While some consider them perverts, some call them mentally ill. In fact, several pieces of studies and meta-analysis have been carried out to explain the sprouting of such deviations in selected minds.

Some of the studies tried to correlate past child abuse, the prevalence of emotional disturbances, or the derangements of specific biochemical in the brain or endocrine dysfunctions. Further, it was also found that because of their extroverted and less neurotic nature, BDSM enthusiasts scored well on several personalities and psychological tests.

It was also reported that engaging in BDSM practices do not signify any sexual difficulties, rather considered as a simple sexual interest. But on another flip of the coin, another study considers the power and control practice as a predisposed repercussion of mental issues like anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or personality disorder.

Whatsoever, whether you engage in plain vanilla sex or take a step higher to complicate with blindfolds, cuffs, chains, and floggers to fall, crawl, break, bleed or tremble, spice up your sex life as you like it. Introduce a barrel-load of fun and excitement in your relationship. Lastly, don’t let the thrill go.

Picture References:

http://www.hoteltantra.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/esclavo-bdsm.jpg

http://www.travelingintuscany.com/art/art/tarquiniane-cropolises.htm

9 amazing reasons why it’s awesome to have a Bengali guy friend

By
Madhuri Saikia
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0

Your female friends might disagree to your opinions, spill beans behind your back, puke out your dark secrets and deny helping with assignments. But in contrast, a guy friend would stand all your useless tantrums, lock your secrets safe in their hearts, listen to all your boyfriend problems, help in assignments and in fact do everything that a girl friend will definitely disagree. And cherry in the cake is when your guy-friend is Bengali and you have amazing stuffs to explore about him.

    1. SWEET AS MISTI:

      They are generally the out spoken people with their tongue is as sweet as Rossogulla and Misti doi. They are friendly people and you will be left with no silly reason to not love their company. You will rarely find them engaging in any controversial activity and they profoundly preach non-violence.

    2. BRAVE AT HEART:

      You will always feel safe in his company. Although he isn’t muscular like the Punjabi guy, he will always protect you from every street whistles and ‘wo dekh maal jaa rahi hai’ eyes.

    3. THEY ARE MUSIC FREAKS

      They are the extreme music freak taking interest in various genres. And whoa! Your bong guide is always by your side to help you in updating your playlist with fresh tracks.

    4. THE UNIVERSALLY BHAIZONED ELEMENT:

      They are the universally Bhai zoned class and their ‘dada’ factor will forever amuse you with their caring attitude. They will defend every obstacle standing your way.

    5. CLASSINESS AT ITS BEST:

      In other days, he is just the plain simple guy chomping with Nutella all over his face but his pataka look during festivals, aaye haaye will leave you droll your eyes in wonder. He will bet your hunky boyfriend in terms of classiness with his traditional features.

    6. THE TOPPERS:

      They are generally the intelligent class compared to rest of your circle. With him by your side, you will never have to worry about bulky assignments and deadlines ever again.

    7. LAZINESS IS SYNONYMOUS:

      They are lazy people which actually make your life easier. Unlike your impatient boyfriend, you can get ready for a party without any 50 messages and 100 calls with him. The Indian tradition of always getting late and the logic behind one minute equals one hour can be equally be applied with him

    8. CULTURALLY ENLIGHTENED:

      They have been taught to respect women and treat them with courtesy since childhood. They are highly cultured and would acquaint you to every values and tradition whenever you step the wrong route.

    9. FOODIE:

      Bongs are great foodies as well as master chefs of their kitchen. You will be introduced to different relishing delicacies and styles of cooking by him. Befriend his mom so that you can invite yourself for a sumptuous dinner with illish maas’ r sorsori.

Let us know your views about this article in the comment section below.

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